Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
