I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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