I wish i was in the wii world.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
