Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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