hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
