i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
