ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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