i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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