Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
