Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
