Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
