Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Rumble strips road head = magical
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
