After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
