in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
