I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
