also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
