so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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