you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
