you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
