i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
