I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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