Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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