The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
