Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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