Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
