My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
