hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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