I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
