Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
