Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
