Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She announced her abortion via fbk
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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