Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize