First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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