Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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