I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
