Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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