No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
