Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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