so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize