She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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