I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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