Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
