I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
