I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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