Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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