I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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