Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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