yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
