Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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