There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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