so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
