well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
