Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I have post one night stand depression
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
