I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
