she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
