it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
