my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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