He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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