Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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