If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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