But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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