I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
ugly people sure do ruin things
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
This is classic penis vs brain.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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