he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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