The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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