What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
