It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She needs sedatives and a leash
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize