this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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