there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
