I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize