Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Randomize
