he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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