You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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