Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
