He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
