i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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