i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize