i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
