Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
How naked do you want me to be?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
