you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
